Indulging in the salacious and the shocking, 1-900-Sex-Poem is an interactive — not too interactive — evening of erotic poetry sure to get your endorphins flowing this Valentine’s Day.

A sultry ensemble of local writers will perform their original sinful work as well as titillating pieces by famous bards.

Performers include Bardroom veterans Daniel Brownwood and Marisa Beahm, as well as Nathan Kay, Arlo Fourhees and Kate Coyer.

Voyeuristic audience members have the chance to win kitschy curios during writing competitions and when brave host Jeff Taylor tests the crowd’s knowledge of legendary love poems. Also, don’t miss the chance to vote for the best acts in delightfully lascivious categories. 18+ show. Entry 500 HUF.

Time: 19:30 – 21:00

Venue: Merlin Theater

Address: V. District, Gerlóczy Street 4, close to Deák Square

What makes it special is that we’ll be hosting the show as part of the three-day GODOTLiterary Festival – we’re attaching their full program so you can browse it yourselves forother events of interest.

We’ll start of with a Bardroom first: a serious, high-brow panel discussion about the Bardroom’s history and aims, moderated by Pilvax Magazine’s Editor-in-Chief Matt Ellis. Performing will be Bardroom veterans Marisa Beahm and Frank Zsigo as well as newcomer Hedda Maurer. And OF COURSE there will be quiz questions.

Hope to see you there!

With love: The Bardroom

Unfortunately, relying on the wisdom of crowds doesn’t always ensure you get the best results. This shot of Bardroom hosts, Jeff Taylor and Kalman Farago didn’t turn out half bad. Still, what’s that mysterious object in Jeff’s hand?

This Bardroom event was packed, thanks to Treehugger Dan’s amazing email database. That’s Bardroom co-host, Steve Carlson, who arrived too late to find a seat. To his left, Treehugger Dan, and the usual gang of suspects.

(Why are we showing you this photo? That’s right, we didn’t manage to get a picture of that evening’s headliner, Nicholas T. Parsons.)

Thank you, Gabor Mandy at the open mic!

Hats off to the band (Maggie és a Muzsikások) …

This is the real danger in relying on amateur Internet photography. What if your colleagues decide to blackmail you?

(Actually, those are Jeff Taylor’s students, but we have an over-active imagination.)

1. What was your first (poem / piece of writing), and how bad was it?

School essay with the riveting title “A Description of a Bow and Arrow” that was entered in the school Honours Book of my English Primary School. The main point of the Honours Book was that the piece should be written out in a neat hand without the usual blots and smudges, and ideally employing a spelling familiar to other users of the English language. From this first effort (aged ten) I learned that my future as a writer definitely did not lie in the study of warfare, or indeed in the historical novel.

2. Are you currently working on anything, and why’s it taking so long?

I am always working on something, even when sitting in a Viennese coffee-house (unfortunately there are persons who seem unable to grasp this .)  Currently I am studying the writings of the Eduard Hanslick, the pope of music criticism in Vienna in the second half of the 19th century, and a much maligned man (especially by Richard Wagner.) Hanslick has been dismissed as a reactionary conservative with limited aesthetic horizons, a formalist, an establishment figure pandering to bourgeois philistinism and so on and so forth. When people as unpleasant as the Wagnerites,  or as  smug as the Modernists, go out of their way to attack someone in such violent terms, it usually means he has something interesting to say. So it is with Hanslick, and contemporary scholarship has rediscovered him, despite repeated announcements that he had been consigned to the dustbin of history. I don’t yet know what I shall write about him.

Why is it taking so long?

Well, firstly because I am lazy; and secondly because only the first six volumes (edited by Dietmar Strauss) of Hanslick’s “Sämtliche Schriften” have appeared. I think about ten are projected. It is really a question of whether Strauss dies before I do

3. Do you actually have moments of inspiration or is writing just a process of slogging day in and day out?

I think it is both. There are times when I work intensively, though that might be because of a deadline. But I can’t work intensively unless there is a concept buzzing in my head. Having said that, the concept changes and develops through the writing process. So yes, putting words on paper, even when feeling uninspired, is important, as it helps to clear the lumber. Inspiration usually arises from personality-directed preferences: certain subjects, figures or situations seem intrinsically interesting to a writer, though they may seem entirely insignificant to others. The trick is to turn this personal inspiration into something that appeals to the curiosity and intelligence of readers who wouldn’t necessarily expect to be attracted to your work. Of course few succeed in this, except to a very limited extent. A glowing recommendation of a work that comes from the author’s mother is sadly not much use on the dustjacket. The greatest writers, a Dante, a Goethe or a Shakespeare, are not simply “great” because they have been rammed down the throats of generations of unfortunate schoolchildren. They are great because, when studied and read with an open mind, they are seen to have transformed a personal inspiration into a universal insight. Easily said, incredibly difficult to do.

4. What’s the last piece of literature that made you cry?

Pride and Prejudice; it always makes me cry, sometimes with laughter.

5. What’s the worst thing about writing a book?

Nowadays, back pain!

As usual, the event will be at Treehugger Dan’s Bookstore, Café & Lounge. Guests will also have a chance to win unique, local treasures when hosts Jeff Taylor and Kálman Farago test the audience’s knowledge on a range of obscure travel-related topics. All potential bards should be prepared to participate in the poetry writing contest, which will feature a touristic theme. The night’s best poem (determined by audience reaction) will earn a valuable prize. Furthermore, aspiring writers can claim spots for open mic reading.

Time: 19:30 – 21:00

Venue: Treehugger Dan’s Bookstore, Cafe & Lounge/Discover Hungary

Address: VI. District, Lázár u. 16.  M1 (Yellow Metro Line) station Opera, just off of Andrássy Ut., behind the Opera House.

Bardroom co-founder, David Hill, sent word to us that he is collaborating with Hungarian conductor, Gregory Vajda, on a work entitled ‘Gulliver in Faremido’. Gregory Vajda is currently conducting the Oregon Symphony Orchestra. Our esteemed colleague, David Hill wrote the text, while actor David Loftus serves as narrator. Click for further details and an interview. Congratulations, David!

Marisa Beahm Klein pleased us with poetry.

Rachel Hammond soothed us with song.

Aubrey Ramage-Lay marched us toward the gates of Hell.

Arlo took an open mic slot and rattled off three poems from memory. Just like that.

Bardroom hosts, Kálmán Faragó and Steven Carlson, waxed eloquent.

When I felt his Santa claws,

grabbing at my Xmas balls;

Of my eggnog I took a sip,

and crossed him off my Xmas list

Marisa Beahm Klein has been writing poetry since elementary school when she released her first book of ‘pomes.’ Since then, she’s improved her spelling and has continued to explore the medium, tackling themes such as religion and travel through imagist pieces. Marisa grew up in Colorado and attended the University of Colorado-Boulder where she hosted weekly open-mics and competed for her school’s slam poetry team. After she earned a degree in journalism and cut her teeth as a daily news reporter, she moved to Budapest with her husband and continues to work as a journalist. Marisa will be reading selected poems her recently-published poetry collection,

1. What was your first (poem / piece of writing), and how bad was it?

“It was a poem written for an elementary school exercise, and it was pretty atrocious. Of course it contained the most rudimentary rhymes -  ‘there was a dog named bog that got lost in the fog …’ -  that only a Dr. Suess or Shel Silverstein could pull off with any grace. But, given that I composed it at the age of eight, I give myself some credit.”

2. What’s the last thing you read that made your hair stand up on end?

“‘What Big Girls Are Made Of’ by Marge Piercy. This whole poetry collection evokes modern feminism in a startlingly brave, sharp way. She can tackle any subject – from sexual harassment and religion to a simple butterfly – in an accessible way that’s both poignant and wry. I am totally smitten with her.”

3. What’s the last piece of literature that made you cry?

“Technically, it wasn’t literature since it’s a spoken-word poem, but it was Andrea Gibson’s ‘Say Yes.’ This Colorado poet is one of the most talented performers I’ve ever seen live, and this is a hugely passionate poem – it provokes the inspired-with-goose bumps kind of tears.”

4. What’s the worst thing about writing a book?
“Knowing when it’s finished. I could edit my writing forever, so I have to call a moratorium on tweaking and finally call it a day.”

5. Does poetry matter anymore?

“Since I am not a nihilist, I have to say yes. Does any writer say no to this?”